No one ever said marriage was easy. Divorce rates prove that staying married forever can be more difficult than most romantics would want to believe. If you’re in a marriage and wondering why you’re there, stuck in a rut, or unsure of why you should even try anymore, take a deep breath. There’s a reason you and your spouse got married in the first place. Sometimes, reminding yourself of it and faking it until you can get back on track is the way to go. If you’re wondering why trying harder in your marriage could pay off, you aren’t alone. For tips and thoughts, read on.
Showing Love and Appreciation
Like it or not, we live in a fast-paced culture. For many, putting in the long term work of a lifelong marriage is just too hard. Demands and responsibilities like spending quality time with a spouse, being there on the bad days, facing confrontation, and showing support when we’re tired or not in the mood can make marriage hard. Unfortunately, statistics show that more couples than not give up. Whether it’s that they stop doing the little things, won’t let go of a disagreement, or that they let things like housework, income, money, kids, or outside influences get in the way, marriages break up.
The great news is that this doesn’t have to be your story no matter where you’re at in your marriage. Instead, with some work, research on your relationship’s love language, and by showing your partner some appreciation for sticking it out, there’s always hope. If you and your spouse are struggling, consider starting with compliments. Think of ways your spouse is the perfect person for you no matter what’s going on in the marriage. Follow that up with gifts like a marquise cut ring, set in white gold or yellow gold, a special watch, or even dinner out. Making an overt effort to connect with your spouse is a great way to show your love and appreciation at any point in the marriage.
Maybe you really want to spoil her on your next anniversary or for Valentine’s Day. Fine jewelry like that marquise cut ring could be the best way to start an evening out. Think back to the beginning of your relationship. Did her eyes sparkle when you pulled out a white gold engagement ring and asked her to marry you? You could even recreate that same proposal again with a new white gold marquise engagement ring. Nothing says you can’t make a tradition of saying you’d choose each other again, even when times are hard.
Perks to Married Life and the Shared Dream
If you’re trying to learn how to be a better husband, it helps to remember why your marriage matters in the first place. Ask yourself why you value the relationship. Then, have an honest conversation with your spouse about it, too. Sometimes, reminding yourself of happier times can make the journey feel easier. Shared history can go a long way toward creating a better future, but it doesn’t mean the relationship won’t take hard work.
Make a list of shared dreams you had when you first fell in love. Talk about new dreams and goals for your future. In reconnecting to who you were then, are now, and want to be together in the future, you’ll begin to feel better about your bond. Make it a goal to tackle one dream at a time. Maybe you had a shared dream of traveling together but haven’t taken a vacation in years. Formulate a plan to compromise on time off on a trip you could take together for reconnecting.
The Difference Relationship Harmony Makes
The simple answer to why it pays to work harder in your marriage is something you already know. Any married person knows the difference between a relationship that’s flowing right along and one that’s struggling. To get out of a tense or stale relationship, be prepared to make an effort even if that includes seeking professional help. When that harmony comes back to your relationship, you’re sure to thank yourself.
At the end of the day, marriage is a long-run commitment. When you said your vows, you promised to be there for your partner in the good times and the bad. Research shows that any good marriage has its ups and downs and takes work by both partners. If you and your spouse are committed to the overall health of your long-term relationship, having an honest conversation, seeking help, and doing your own part to make it work could really help out. Putting in the extra work now will be worth it when those good times roll back around.
